Out of Control: The Manifestation of Love

The first, introductory entry to this book of prose and poetry contains this paragraph which sets the context for what is to follow:

I learned to shut down my whirling thoughts, sit down and listen. I just wanted to be comfortable with myself, accept myself just the way I am, and I didn’t know that’s what I wanted, or lacked — self-acceptance — but that’s what I got. I thought …. I was a very weak and stupid person, a misfit, a miscreant. I thought I was alone in this world, I thought I was living in hell. I had to accept all of that.… Then I discovered I wasn’t talking to myself, I heard you telling me my own story, reflecting it back to me, and I was stunned. I felt connected, and the empty void within me became a solid thing with a path and a purpose. I am not who I thought I was. I am no longer a solitary, struggling, panicking idiot. I have the strength of all of You, I have the courage of all of You, I have the Love of all of You. My history still haunts me like a ghost sometimes, but now I see it only faintly at a distance, and it does not frighten me. I have gone from self-acceptance to self-discovery to self-abandonment. I am We. Love always wins, that is the L.A.W.

I wrote this as a sequel to Love Always Wins and The Work of Love because I wanted to convey experientially some of what happens when working on ourselves has made some significant, transformative changes in our lives. The learning never ends. However, the joy of being alive continues to grow and increase.


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